One Week to Go!

So, this time next week I will be in Sydney preparing for life changing surgery....am I nervous? Totally! Am I excited? Not really....just nervous! People ask me that a lot - are you excited? I get where they're coming from, but the actual sleeve doesn't really excite me. The RESULTS however do! This morning I smashed my pre op weight loss goal and broke through 140kgs - haven't been this light in quite some time! Here are just SOME of the things I look forward to:

1. I look forward to being a very cheap date! (and a very cheap drunk!)
2. I look forward to living my life free from obsessing about food (eventually!)
3. I look forward to looking in the mirror and being happy about what I see
4. I look forward to costume fittings without being worried about finding something that will fit
5. I look forward to shopping at the FRONT of clothing stores rather than at the "plus size" section
6. I look forward to going to the cinema and fitting comfortably in the seats
7. I look forward to flying without asking for a seat extension and not worrying about how much I'll encroach on someone sitting next to me
8. I look forward to taking my doggie for walks very very often and not dreading it
9. I look forward to bushwalking with my husband
10. I look forward to many other things with my husband!!!! ;)
11. I look forward to strutting my stuff on stage in many TMS shows (in lots of fab parts that aren't "fat" parts)
12. I look forward to having children and running around after children!
13. I look forward to being 51 yrs old, and 52 yrs old and 53 yrs old, and 54 yrs old......
14. I look forward to b!@#s at work who wouldn't give me the time of day all of a sudden saying how great I look - and me promptly brushing them off for the ppl who were always there for me
15. I look forward to making new friends at bootcamps and gym classes and playing sports (even though I'm totally unco!)
16. I look forward to the day when all the family members who ditched me realised that they completely missed out
17. I look forward to going to my 20 year high school reunion (if we have one) looking AMAAZINNGG
18. I look forward to eating real food again (in smaller doses)
19. I look forward to the day I reach my goal weight
20. I look forward to the day when I stand in front of that awful psychologist and give her the finger for telling me that I'm too emotionally messed up to have this surgery!

The biggest thing I look forward to is an increase in confidence. I know that can only come from the inside, and I think I've already begun that side of my transformation. I've come to realise that I just don't have time to chase after friends of convenience anymore - you know the ones - the ones who are all mates with you when it suits them, but only when it suits them. I've come to realise over the several months in the lead up to this surgery that there are even people who I've considered the very closest of friends that unfortunately fall into that category. I've also been pleasantly surprised by others who have truly stepped up and been there through the tears, the fears, and the trials of this journey.

To those who have left me hanging while I've gone through this, who haven't made a concerted effort to support me with even something as simple as a phone call or an email or anything and yet will get in touch when they want something (you know who you are).....know this. Change is coming. There is coming a day when I won't even take your phone calls or return ur texts anymore because I am worth more than that. I deserve friends who are present and who don't just take but who give as well. I'm no longer a friend of convenience - so you have two choices. You can either 1. step up and make an effort between now and next Monday and then beyond that also or 2. find someone else to use. I'm done being second best.

And to those who have supported me - Robyn, Cheryl, Carrie, Liesl, Bennie, Jeanette, Ros, Mark, Jocelyn, Kathleen, my fabulous family and my amazing husband, I love each and every one of you to my absolute core. You have chosen to make this your journey as well as mine, and the fact that you are walking with me means the world to me. I hope I never ever take your friendship and love for granted.

So, final week. Here's my goals for this week:

1. STICK WITH IT - I've come too close to cheat now!
2. 2ltrs of water a day - no exceptions!
3. hydrotherapy as much as possible
4. final opti shop!
5. get packing!!
6. final photos and measurements and maybe a video blog before I head off

Fingers crossed!