Nearly There...

Well, technically we ARE here. We've made it to Sydney and after Brad having to make a MILLION trips back to the car to get the TONNES of luggage we some how managed to bring with us, we're finally settled into our unit. A little hiccup however, neither hubbie or myself realised that the unit was shared - so there's two other rooms and two other couples also living in the same place. Thankfully there's two sitting rooms, so hubbie and I can watch telly privately and our room isn't terrible so it's not all bad. Plus its fully self contained, so Brad can cook his meals and be ok and I'll know he's at least got a nice place to stay while I'm in hospital.

This morning, in lieu of a will, I wrote out some "last instructions" in case the worst happens and had myself a little cry - then I decided I was not going to cry anymore. I spent practically all weekend in tears, labouring over all the unknowns.....will there be complications? will I suffer? will the pain be really bad? what will "post sleeve" feel like? will i be hungry? have I dealt with my issues enough to successfully make the sleeve work for me? Will this be 6 grand down the tube, or am I going to make it? I honestly dont know. I have no idea what life after tomorrow will look like, and its likely the scariest thing I'll ever do. I feel like I'm literally jumping off the cliff, not knowing what is at the bottom - a terrifying thought even if you DONT take into account the pain i will go through for the privalege.

I have to believe that this whole journey so far has been guided by God's hands, and that He knows exactly what I need. Despite massive mood swings, swearing at the cat this morning (he flicked kitty litter EVERYWHERE and then proceeded to throw up on the loungeroom carpet - once in the entrance and then TWICE BEHIND the couch.....just as we were trying to get away.....UGH! He REALLY didn't want us to go!). Frankly I've been a moody bitch lately, but I know eventually that will pass - as of tomorrow life will be very very different. For the better I pray!

Well, there's nothing really more to do now. I'm treating myself to customary vegetables AND salmon, and maybe a chicken tender or two from the box brad is cooking up right now.....nothing too heavy but enough to give me one last taste of real food before tomorrow. I can't eat after 6am in the morning so it will be optifast at 5:30 then sipping water til 8:30 and nothing after that.

So, here goes. If I get the chance to write tomorrow morning I will otherwise I'll blog on the other side!!! Adios!