All I wanted to do was crawl back into bed and cry, but instead I resisted the urge to get upset and melt down, picked myself up, had my first meal of soft food (tuna casserole - yummo!) and went off to work. At work I talked to a couple of friends about it, and they all said the same thing......step away from the scales, keep doing what you're doing, and realise that this takes time and doesn't happen overnight. Feeling a little bolstered I then went and had a beautiful coffee with my darling Lisa who said the same thing.
But all day this niggling little voice in the back of my head kept trying to put me down all day. ALL day. "This works for other people but you're gonna be the exception....what if there's something medically wrong with you.......what if your just meant to be big and die young.....you're gonna die and all this will be for nothing.....you just wasted 10 grand for NOTHING" and then the excuses for not going to the gym tonight started "what's the point, you haven't lost anyways, why torture yourself, you're not technically even meant to be going to the gym yet, you could just go home and rest, you need a night at home, there's lots of housework to do, your stomach doesn't feel good, you have to go to coles after work so you can't go to the gym tonight (Hey I didn't say it was logical!!!)"
This went on even as I was driving home this afternoon, then I decided to put a stop to it - I told that voice to rack off and that I was going to the gym anyways.
And so I did. And I walked 50 mins, 3.14kms and then came home :) I'm proud of myself that I didn't let that little voice win, especially when it usually does. I'm going to go tomorrow morning too - and I'm going to keep going every weekday. Not because the scales aren't moving, but because I don't want that little voice to get any louder. It's time for that voice to rack off for good.
No comments:
Post a Comment