Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, and it's had me thinking about changes. I've been through a lot of change this year, just juggling the 9 different sets of appointments I have to keep track of at any given time is hard enough! It's funny how so many things have stayed the same, but at the same time so many things have changed!
So here I sit at the cusp of another new year. I dont like the idea of resolutions, they're always doomed to failure so I refused to go there. But I do have aspirations and goals for 2015. There will be a lot going on next year - here's just a few things on our books for the new year:
- Mid January: get concretor quote and book the building of our new outdoor area
- 17th January: off to Sydney for the twin's first birthday
- Feb-March: Going to Wicked for my birthday in Brisbane :)
- April: 11 year wedding anniversary, hopefully marked with a bbq in our new outdoor area (please God!)
- Around May: short cruise with Robyn (practice cruise for the big one at the end of the year!)
- Fingers crossed singing lessons (if I get the scholarship!) and Choral society throughout the year
- End of September: 12 months post surgery and hopefully will be at goal weight range
- End of 2015: Cruise to NZ with Robyn :)
- December 2015: Big family Christmas at the Tough's :) the first of many!
I have so many hopes and aspirations for this coming year, I am actually a lot more hopeful for the new year than I have been in a really long time. Here's some of my hopes for 2015:
- I am believing that this year will give me the opportunity to reconnect with myself and with God. I've been floating on the fringes of Church life this year, not really able to commit to anything and not really mentally or emotionally able to immerse myself or be vulnerable enough to commit to a church family. This year I want to change that.
- This year I also want to get stuck into regular therapy to address the mental and emotional issues I have around food. This will form the bulk of the changes I need to adopt for the rest of my life that will ensure permanent weight loss.
- I want to ensure that I remain connected to music in some way, and most likely that will be through Choral society and hopefully the scholarship I have applied for that will allow me to continue vocal lessons at the conservatorium. This is going to be something of great importance to me, not just because I'll be able to continue honing my skills but also it will give me the opportunity to meet new people and make new friends.
- I wont be engaging in formal university study this year, but instead I'll be working through two books - "The Happiness Trap" and "If Not Dieting Then What" - both books have worksheets to work through that will help me identify faulty thinking and habits that are not in line with my goals for weightloss and health.
- I have armed myself with diaries, apps and tools to try and keep track of all my appointments and commitments this year and I am making a commitment to myself that my "yes will be yes" and my "no will be no" when it comes to things like appointments, my gym sessions, and all the rules and regulations that govern my day. These rules include rules around fluid consumption after eating a meal, no take away foods, no high calorie foods (or limited amount) limiting processed foods, benefibre and movicol daily, taking my meds daily and ensuring I pack a lunch every day rather than relying on store bought foods for lunches.
- I will be getting a gym program together that will be followed regularly to ensure that I build strength muscle and tone
- I will have no hesitation in getting rid of any and all relationships that are not healthy for me to have and i am determined that this year I will not be defined by anyone else. This is a bit of a challenge for me as it's a real change in thinking, but I've already started taking steps to ensure that the people who are around right now are people who are supportive of my goals and dreams and who are healthy and moral influences in my life.
- I am keen to engage the "quiet life" after a year of surgeries and doctors appointments - now is the time to settle a little and enjoy the mundane.
Above all else I want a quiet, fulfilling and satisfying 2015 where I learn a new way to live with new habits and with a new focus. It's time to put away my old self and reimmerse myself into things that I love and enjoy and that I value. I'm done wasting time on people who aren't worth it, and I'm done wasting resources on things that wont make my life better. I want this year to be a time of healing, a time of rejuvenation, and a time to rediscover the things that are most important to me.
I wish you all a very happy and healthy New Years, and a fabulous 2015. May you find growth and purpose in a new beginning.
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